What About Dad? Understanding Fathers’ Mental Health in Parenthood

Becoming a father can be one of the most meaningful experiences in a man’s life. But alongside the joy, pride, and purpose, many fathers quietly grapple with a range of emotional challenges — challenges that are often overlooked or minimized. In today’s world, where we are increasingly attuned to the importance of mental health, we must also make space for fathers’ mental health, especially during the perinatal period and early years of parenting.

The Hidden Struggles of Fatherhood

The transition into fatherhood can be emotionally turbulent. While maternal mental health is rightly gaining recognition, fathers’ experiences often remain in the background. Yet research tells us that 5–10% of fathers experience perinatal depression, and 5–15% experience anxiety. Some studies suggest that up to a third of new fathers may have depressive symptoms within the first year after their child is born. And for some, particularly those facing ongoing stressors or not living with their child, the psychological distress may persist well into early childhood.

Beyond depression and anxiety, some fathers report experiencing post-traumatic stress symptoms, obsessive thoughts, exhaustion, and even, though rarely, bipolar disorder or psychosis. These experiences aren’t just about mood — they affect a father’s ability to bond with his child, support his partner, and function in daily life. The emotional toll is real.

What Makes Fatherhood So Mentally Challenging?

Fatherhood is a profound life change, and several factors contribute to the mental health strain many men face:

• Personal and family stressors like unemployment, financial difficulties, a lack of emotional support, and unresolved childhood trauma can increase vulnerability.

• Infant-related challenges such as sleep deprivation, a fussy baby, or concerns about a child’s health can add to the pressure.

• Many fathers experience role strain — the overwhelming sense that they must be everything: a provider, a partner, a protector — while often receiving little support themselves.

• Some men feel excluded from health services, which typically focus on mothers, leading them to wonder if their own emotional needs are valid or worth addressing.

• Social stigma also plays a big role. Men may internalize the belief that they need to “stay strong” or “man up,” making it harder to seek help when they need it.

When Services Fall Short

Despite the growing awareness of mental health, perinatal and parenting services continue to focus almost exclusively on mothers. Fathers are rarely assessed for mental health concerns, and few resources speak directly to their experiences. As a result, many fathers turn to unhelpful or harmful coping strategies — such as isolating themselves or using alcohol — rather than reaching out.

When fathers do seek help, they often find that services aren’t tailored to their needs or experiences. This creates a cycle where men are less likely to engage, and in turn, services remain less responsive to them.

What Can Be Done?

Addressing fathers’ mental health isn’t just a matter of fairness — it’s essential for the well-being of the whole family. Here’s what needs to change:

• Routine mental health screening for fathers should be included in perinatal and early parenting services, just like it is for mothers.

• Support resources should speak to fathers directly, framing self-care not as selfish, but as essential to being the present and supportive parent they want to be.

• Family-focused services should ensure that both parents are included in conversations about parenting, emotional health, and support options.

• Training for service providers is critical so that they can recognize signs of distress in fathers and respond with compassion and practical support.

A Message to Fathers

If you’re a father navigating this journey, know that your struggles are valid. Feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or down doesn’t make you weak — it makes you human. Seeking support doesn’t mean you’re failing your family; it means you care enough to take care of yourself, too.

You are not alone. Many other fathers are facing similar challenges. There is support out there — and more importantly, there should be support tailored for you.

What Next?

Let’s normalize conversations about paternal mental health. If you’re a healthcare provider, check in with fathers, not just mothers. If you’re part of a parenting support organization, create resources that speak to fathers’ experiences. If you’re a father yourself — or love one — don’t be afraid to ask: “How are you really doing?”

Together, we can build a culture where fathers are seen, supported, and empowered to care for their mental health — for their sake, and for the families who rely on them.

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Are you a father, partner, or professional wanting to learn more about supporting men’s mental health in parenting? Reach out to our practice — we’re here to listen, support, and walk with you through this important season of life.

Also, do check out https://dadsforlife.sg for more information and resources.